Is an INTP Relationship Right for You?

intp-relationshipsLong-lasting INTP relationships may be tougher to develop initially, but those who are able to stick it out can enjoy affectionate and fulfilling long-term relationships. This Myers-Briggs personality is characterized as being introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving. These traits create an individual that is mostly concerned with internal affairs rather than that which goes on around them. For the right individual, an INTP can be a very loving, affectionate, and committed companion.


INTP Characteristics


intp-architectThe INTP personality is referred to as the “thinker.” This kind of person has a bright and curious mind that is always mulling over possibilities, theories, and what-ifs. The dominant features of the personality is the introverted thinker. This type of individual is mostly concerned with what’s going on in his or her own little world instead of what might be taking place in reality. Being gifted with such a wonderful thought process, “thinkers” are more likely to view reality as a let-down as they compare it to the possibilities that they often think about. This analytical personality loves to mull over things and will often wander so deeply into the recesses of their own mind that to an outsider, they may appear disinterested, detached, or even anti-social. Some of history’s most famous scientific and philosophic minds fall into the “thinker” category, such as Socrates, Sir Isaac Newton, and Albert Einstein.


Naturally prone to introversion, INTPs aren’t the most forthcoming individuals where feelings are concerned. They have many depths to their personality, each of which will be revealed if and when they deem an individual worthy. Until then, this type of individual may seem somewhat out of reach unless the subject of conversation drifts into a realm in which they have an interest. “Thinkers” can become very passionate about subjects that they find fascinating and can talk for hours about their ideas on such topics. This kind of individual is most likely to have a small group of friends, typically ones who share common interests and opinions. Although “thinkers” may appear to be day dreaming or completely out-o-tune with their surroundings, they will pay close attention if they hear details that perk their analytical instincts. They often spot liars very easily due to their extraverted intuition and their ability to recall and compare statements to zone-in on any incongruities.


The INTP is a laid back personality that is happy to let things slide. However, they may be roused into a clever and impassioned defense against statements that they feel are wholly incorrect or that hit too close to home with a topic that they feel strongly about. Their enthusiasm may also shine when they get the opportunity to work their problem solving skills. Close friends may even seek out this individual to help them find a solution to a problem. A “thinker” will drill through all of the details, view a situation from all angles, and come up with a viable solution. That being said, INTPs typically cannot stand to engage in a standard routine. These individuals crave new ideas and jumping on intriguing problems. Mundane everyday activities make INTPs bored and unhappy. With such a creative and imaginative nature, INTPs are best suited to roles that can keep the mind stimulated.


male-female-symbolsINTP Relationships


Although these individuals are flexible and relaxed, they often appear shy or reluctant to meet someone new. This is often because they lack the desire to put up with everyday chatter that, quite frankly, bores them. The prospect of being plagued by personal questions can also seem very unappealing to an introverted thinker who would rather keep his or her feelings and inner self closed-off. When a “thinker” does find someone worth divulging their true self to, they will do so slowly but earnestly. Ideally, this kind of individual will be happiest in a relationship that allows them to retain independence. “Thinkers” are not keen on frequent social interactions. This personality will not respond well if a partner becomes pushy regarding social outings and will likely retreat to a more satisfying world of inner thoughts and imaginings.


Relationships can be difficult for INTPs, but not impossible. One of the hardest obstacles that a “thinker’s” partner may struggle to overcome is the ability to give this individual the amount of space and freedom that they require in order to be truly happy. For the same reason, “thinkers” may be wary to enter into a relationship out of fear that they will become stifled by their partner. It isn’t all anti-socialism and living in a dream world with this persona, though. Their inferior trait, extraverted feeling, occasionally arises and draws out the latent need to be around others. This will come into play more when a “thinker” has a partner that they genuinely care about. As long as both individuals are willing to be mature and flexible in the relationship, there is a good chance that an INTP can have a meaningful and long-lasting relationship.


compatibilityCompatible Personality Types


The two most compatible personality types for INTPs are the ENTJ (extraverted, intuitive, thinking, judging) and ENFJ (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, judging). These extravert personalities seem more capable of sensing their partner’s need for freedom and space. As these personalities often have a wide circle of friends, they will rarely miss out on lunch, movies, or other activities because there will always be a willing buddy for them to hang out with. The thinking aspects of the ENTJ personality will jive well with the “thinker’s” analytical and problem-solving skills. “Feeling” personalities like the ENFJ, are often led to base decisions on their feelings – a trait which would really bug an INTP if it gets out of hand. If the ENFJ learns to reel in their emotions, they could be a very suitable match for this type of personality. The “judging” traits in the ENTJ and ENFJ personalities provides structure where the INTP lacks. “Thinkers” can be spontaneous and sometimes have trouble taking action due to their need to collect all of the facts. A judging personality can be there to pick up the slack with tasks that bore the INTP.


guidance Relationship Guidance for the INTP


As an INTP, you tend to be very particular about your partners. You are more likely to have several short or hollow relationships as opposed to a long-term commitment. The thought of a committed relationship may make your skin crawl primarily out of fear of being controlled or suppressed. If you aren’t necessarily opposed to a committed relationship then you may find that the difficulty in igniting a relationship lies in your lack of social aptitude. You may find it tough to keep focused on conversations and individuals that can’t keep your attention and are likely to revert into a pensive mood around strangers – which can certainly turn dating into a boring task.


Your ideal partner would be one who has a healthy appreciation for your need to remain independent, even if you are happily attached. When dating, try to ask your companion questions that will help you get a better idea about the type of person that lies underneath the exterior. They may have plenty of experiences and stories to keep your imagination enthralled, which would be a great match for yourself. You obviously won’t be happy with anyone who has a strong need to control or be needed, as you are happy being self-sufficient. On the other hand, if you find someone (or are already with someone) who seems to keep you interested and supports your creative endeavors, then it might be worthwhile to exercise a few of your less-used features in order to satisfy some of your partner’s needs that have yet to be met. For instance, if your partner is obviously unhappy about the length of time that has passed since your last date, then consider putting your creativity to the test by concocting an imaginative and unique date. Planning may not be your forte, but the occasional effort certainly won’t hurt and your partner will feel as if your interest in him or her has been renewed.


tipsTips for Dating an INTP Personality


Someone who shows an interest in some of the “thinker’s” passions and understands/supports this personality’s need to occasionally drift into a creative and self-imagined world would be a suitable match. If you tend to be controlling or have a strong need to be surrounded by order then the INTP personality will likely not be a good match for you. On the other hand, if you find that you enjoy creativity and spontaneity then you will appreciate the INTP’s quirkiness and laid-back lifestyle.


Dating an INTP personality isn’t easy because you might find that your needs for closeness and affection aren’t always going to top-out your partner’s list of priorities. You’ll have to make it a point to occasionally mention the things you want as your needs may not be obvious to the inward-thinking INTP. If you are an extravert, you’ll have to remember to ease back and allow your partner some alone time to recuperate from social gatherings, as these can sap an INTP’s energy very quickly. During this time, your significant other may even withdraw from you; but don’t take it personally – he or she just needs some time to reclaim their own sense of self.