Relationship Guidance for the ENFP
Advice for Having a Successful ENFP Relationship
ENFP relationships are rarely dull. This Myers-Briggs character is defined as being extraverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. The ENFP personality is one of the more common ones, accounting for about eight percent of the population. Of those who fall into this category, females outnumber men at a ratio of two to one. Finding a loving companion isn’t easy for all ENFPs, although this dominant extraverted personality does tend to find it easier to initiate relationships than introverted individuals.
ENFP individuals are considered to be one of the most varied and adaptable types of characters and are typically referred to as “inspirers.” As an ENFP grows up, his or her traits may exhibit a power play between the dominant and recessive features. Finding a balance between the intuitive extravert and the sensitive introvert will be an important part of an ENFP being able to decide what they want out of life. The extravert trait ensures that this character is open-minded and enthusiastic yet the intuitive portion of the personality allows the individual to be thoughtful and insightful. This combination can yield an idealistic individual with a lust for life and an appreciation for the feelings and motives of those around them. “Inspirers” tend to have many interests and often excel in all areas that they really enjoy. They are multi-talented and, to outsiders, seem to be good at everything. This is likely due to this character’s passionate and enthusiastic nature which can be contagious to those around them, hence the nickname “inspirer.”
The ENFP’s keen intuition and sense of emotion enables the individual to pick up on the feelings of those around them. This kind of person also has an uncanny ability to read another person’s hidden agenda. Being a perceptive individual, he or she may also look for hidden meanings and is very good at listening to others and offering emotional support. ENFPs have a strong need to be liked by others and can sometimes, especially during childhood, act corny in an effort to be liked. This type of individual may have an excellent sense of humor which, as an extravert, will only encourage others to like them even more. This extravert is an excellent talker and has a knack for getting others to open up. If the individual’s moral values aren’t well developed then they could easily use their abilities to manipulate others.
To outsiders, this sort of individual may seem like a wanderer with no direction or life plan. On the contrary, ENFPs are plagued with a need to figure out their purpose in life and may travel, try out many different activities and hobbies, and even switch religious views several times before finding out what best suits them. This is all part of the individual’s own endeavor to live life to the fullest. An ENFP’s mind is always mulling over possibilities and what-ifs. While this amped-up imagination is wonderful in moderation, it can be easy for individual to form expectations based upon their imaginings and become disappointed or bored with what reality has to offer. Boredom can drive this persona to act more impulsive than usual which could land him or her into trouble. Many individuals with this personality are not happy with the bog-standard life of a routine job and uneventful home life. In order for this sort of individual to really excel at a task, they have to have an interest in what they are doing; in which case they can perform very well with little or no supervision.
This personality truly loves life and treats each day as a gift to be treasured. Such an outlook can be both helpful and detrimental in a relationship. Although normally possessed with a strong set of moral and spiritual values, boredom or stagnancy in an ENFP’s relationship will inevitably cause the “inspirer” to become unhappy. ENFP relationships must have excitement, newness, and even some surprises in order to prevent the “inspirer” from becoming bored. This type of individual takes relationships seriously and will definitely go to great lengths to make their partner happy but the effort has to be reciprocated. Overall, an ENFP is a fun person to be around and will not shy from affection. This, initially, makes relationships come easily to this sort of individual. Although devoted and highly motivated to make a relationship as healthy as possible, the “inspirer” will require room to be his or her self in the relationship. For the right person, this kind of relaxed and open attitude can be very refreshing. Straight-laced individuals whose goals are to land a typical job, drive a nice car, and spend their evenings and weekends at home, doing chores, or running errands will not satisfy the ENFP’s need for freshness and intrigue.
ENFPs are often affectionate and considerate partners because of their need to please and be accepted. This individual’s ability to sense what their partner is feeling makes it easier to anticipate and meet their needs. The down-side of this attitude is that this is the sort of person who would completely overlook his or her own needs. This is where the partner needs to step in and provide for ENFP’s mental, emotional, and physical needs.
This persona doesn’t necessarily run through relationships at an unhealthy rate, but when it is clear that things aren’t going to work out, the “inspirer” has no problem moving on. The need for change and the idea of finding the perfect relationship may cause this particular character to move through relationships fairly quickly until they find the one. The dreamer portion of this personality may cause the individual to ignore signs of a bad relationship because they spend too much time in an idealized world. Unfortunately, if they can’t seem to wake up to reality or if they try too hard to avoid hurting their partner, they could end up being stuck in an unsatisfying or unhealthy relationship for a long time.
A partner who is interested in a long-term mate will find that the ENFP is a devoted but playful parent. They are often described as “big kids” because they so enjoy indulging in their imaginative and spirited side. Once this personality has found a solid set of values, he or she will work hard to instill these morals in their children. Unfortunately, ENFPs aren’t the greatest authoritarians unless the child has done something that the “inspirer” feels is truly wrong. Some children may view the ENFP as an inconsistent role model if the individual frequently bounces back and forth between playmate and dictator.
Compatible Personality Types
The most compatible partners tend to be INFJs (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging) and INTJs (introverted, intuitive, thinking, perceiving). An introverted partner will serve as the yin to the extravert’s yang. Where the “inspirer” tends to ignore his or her own needs and falls prey to impulsive (and sometimes bad) decisions, the feeling or thoughtful intuitive can predict and meet their partner’s needs and bring a slightly more logical vibe to the relationship. Although introverts typically take time to come out of their shells, the perky, warm, and honest ENFP is the perfect type of individual to lull the introvert into a trusting relationship.
As an “inspirer,” you probably make friends wherever you go and never really have trouble snagging a date. People want to be around you because you make them feel motivated and alive. Your happiness not only comes from seeing others around you happy but also from indulging your own flights of fancy. Your partner will need to be allowed to share these indulgences, at least every once in a while, in order to keep you both close and to strengthen your bond. Forming a relationship with someone who isn’t interested in sharing your excitement and enthusiasm for the great big world outside will only make you unhappy as you will never be able to truly bond with this kind of individual.
Your ideal partner will be able to talk you down when you get too idealistic. When you forget things like groceries or sending bill payments, your partner will hopefully be the one to step in with a gentle reminder or be intuitive enough to predict and compensate for your lapse in memory/interest. Your significant other should also be reasonable enough to point out when one of your ideas is a little too risky, ill-timed, or outright bad and you should be prepared to hear them out. You tend to take things very personally and while your ideal match should have a gentle and considerate demeanor, try not to overreact if he or she approaches you with an honest opinion.
Tips for Dating an ENFP Personality
In order to be a good prospect for the ENFP, you need to be capable of going with the flow. Rigidity and strictness, especially in your schedule, will make your partner feel stifled which can inevitably cause the relationship to fail. Be prepared to travel, try new hobbies, and amaze your partner with thoughtful acts that will take them by surprise. Your efforts will keep your partner on their toes which is exactly the kind of lifestyle that the “inspirer” craves! It doesn’t always have to be dramatic, but try to keep things fun. Your partner will thank you by meeting or exceeding your efforts in order to see to your happiness, too.
ENFPs are excellent conversationalists blessed with the ability to talk, gauge a person’s reaction, and carry on in just the right direction to hold their audience’s attention and interest. Being able to react and contribute to such conversations will impress an “inspirer.” Your partner has a knack for expressing his or her self very well and you should be able to listen attentively and give your honest input whenever necessary – but keep it gentle, as this kind of persona is very sensitive and struggles to take criticism without suffering a serious emotional blow.