How to Hold Your Own in an ISFP Relationship

isfp-relationshipsISFP relationships may take a while to blossom but the results are often well worth the wait. This Myers-Briggs personality is made up of four primary traits: introverted, sensing, feeling, and perceiving. This sensitive individual may keep their personality, feelings, and ideals closely guarded but those with patience and a gentle demeanor may be awarded the chance to see the wonder behind this person’s inner walls.


ISFP Characteristics


isfp-composerThe ISFP personality is so enamored by aesthetics that it has earned the nickname “artist.” This character loves and appreciates any external source of inspiration and emotional conjuring. Artwork, a pretty landscape, music, and even food are all attractants to this persona. Introversion is ISFP’s dominant trait which means that they aren’t as much concerned with concrete facts but rather they process information based on how it makes them feel inside. The “sensing” part of this personality is where the love of beauty comes from. This individual uses major senses such as sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell to collect information which they can then process internally to form an opinion based on their internal reaction. A staggering amount of ISFPs possess some form of artistic gift. They have a knack for crafting things that elicit an emotional response from people, be it artwork, music, or even dancing.


Although ISFPs are wonderful at generating an emotional response from others, they often struggle to express their own emotions. It isn’t that ISFPs are not emotional – they are actually extremely sensitive and emotional individuals – but they lack the finesse and, in most cases, the desire to share their feelings with others. “Artists” attempt to convey their emotions through action rather than words. If doing something special will make a friend happy, ISFP can be counted on to work diligently for the optimal outcome. An “artist’s” emotions for those they care about can run extremely deep and for such individuals ISFP will be exceptionally warm and supportive.


“Artists” are free-spirits who become immensely unhappy if others try to control them. Turning the table, these individuals will also never look to control others and are happy to encourage friends, partners, and family members to exercise their freedom and individuality. ISFP often has a unique way of doing things. They tend to steer clear of theories, ideas, and planning and instead opt for a hands-on learning experience. For this reason, ISFPs may become bored at school and tend not to do as well in academic pursuits, particularly those in math and science. They can, however, be very competitive. Many individuals with this personality will be driven by perfectionist tendencies; if they feel that they haven’t done well enough, they will unfairly judge and punish themselves. They are often too modest when credit is due.


Those who don’t really know an “artist” may mistakenly believe them to be flighty and unrealistic. Such individuals likely haven’t gotten to see the inner being of an “artist” nor have a realistic knowledge about the ISFP personality. Although the “artist” may have a unique approach to life and place a lot of value on things that most individuals wouldn’t be bothered with, they are typically very reliable and loyal individuals.


male-female-symbolsISFP Relationships


ISFP relationships are full of spontaneity, affection, and sensuality. In fact, this character is considered by many to be the most impulsive of all the Myers-Briggs personalities. An “artist” will usually be on the lookout for someone whom they believe they could spend the rest of their life with. They can be counted on as a loyal and serious partner who will do what needs to be done in order for the relationship to thrive. They tend to handle everyday chores and responsibilities with ease but they can easily be chased away by and overbearing or militant partner. ISFP needs to be accepted as they are because they could never really be happy in a relationship ruled by order and planning.


ISFPs tend to live in inspiration and this impulse to think, create, and share can be delightfully contagious to a partner. While not being especially intuitive, they do care about the feelings of their partner. This is usually a positive trait but it can become an issue if ISFP ignores his or her own feelings in lieu of seeing to their mate’s happiness. The “artist” is very sensitive and will put forth great effort to mask their emotions so that others are clueless as to what is really going on under the surface. Ideally, ISFP would choose a mate with a gentle and thoughtful disposition. One who is capable of handling problems and criticism in a smooth and careful manner. It is important that ISFP is not harshly judged or criticized by their partner because the “artist” will take this to heart and suffer a debilitating blow to their self-esteem.


“Artists” are not great at managing money because this isn’t something that they particularly value. They prefer to spend time around things that rate highly on their own value scale, such as adventurous endeavors, seeking out untapped wells of creativity, and spending time with animals and nature. This kind of individual does need his or her own space, though, and will become frustrated if their partner becomes clingy or intrusive.


compatibilityCompatible Personality Types


ESTJ (extraverted, sensing, thinking, judging) and ESFJ (extraverted, sensing, feeling, judging) tend to be the most suitable matches for the ISFP personality. Extraverted individuals are excellent at drawing out the hidden personality of an introvert and with the ISFP, this can be a particularly tricky task to accomplish. “Artists” aren’t very forthcoming with their own emotions, but they thrive on knowing that their companion enjoys and appreciates everything that they have to offer. ESTJ and ESFJ personalities are capable of picking up on this need and using both actions and words to express their feelings. These personalities can appreciate the ISFP’s keen appreciation for beauty, which plays a big part in an “artist’s” happiness. The “judging” traits in these characters also provides a sense of structure not necessarily for the “artist,” but for the relationship. This individual would be able to take over the necessary tasks that ISFP does not want to handle.


guidance Relationship Guidance for the ISFP


You may find that your optimistic and flexible nature are very attractive to prospective mates, although you have so much more to offer. You would do best to pair up with a companion who can appreciate and support your endeavors to express your creativity and emotions through artistic works. It is also important that your significant other has a gentle disposition and is unwilling to take advantage of your selfless nature. You can easily put aside your own feelings in order to bring out happiness in those you care about. Try to remember that your own happiness matters, too, and your significant other should be making an effort to meet your needs. You crave an odd sort of balance in a relationship, one based more on giving and receiving affection, positive actions, and respecting each other’s freedom. As far as taking turns paying the bills and sitting down to choose a life insurance plan, you would much rather allow your partner to handle these tasks.


You prefer to live completely in the moment but your companion may mistake this as laziness. Although you may be completely at ease with this lifestyle it could be hindering the relationship from progressing, especially if you have made minimal effort to let your partner see the true you. If your partner voices concerns about where the relationship is headed and/or how your life is affecting theirs, don’t be so quick to feel threatened or backed into a corner. As long as your partner isn’t cranking up the pressure way too soon, he or she has a right to ask this question every once in a while, especially if things seem to be at a stand-still. Try to be a little more forthcoming with your goals and desires. Allow your significant other to speak their mind and take their concerns and feelings into consideration. Gauge your own reaction to them and determine what can be done to restore balance to the relationship.


tipsTips for Dating an ISFP Personality


First and foremost, you must be gentle with an ISFP. This individual is extremely sensitive and although they will often not let you see it, your approval of them matters a lot. Your ISFP is a perfectionist and although impulsive, is also very committed to ensuring that the relationship is a happy and healthy one. Your mate will work very hard to ensure your happiness, so much that they will willingly overlook their own. Make it a point to learn when your partner’s needs may be unfulfilled and don’t hesitate to (gently) inquire if there is anything you can do to make your significant other happy. Don’t be too pushy, though, because the introvert portion of your partner’s personality may view this as being intrusive and disrespecting of their personal boundaries.


Your mate has trouble expressing their emotions to you, but they do try to make up for the lack of verbal confirmation by using actions to speak for them. You should be capable of recognizing that this is their emotional language and you should make an attempt to pay close attention to what they are trying to say. You should also be able to convey your own feelings of love and affection through spoken or written word or through actions. The latter is extremely important because your companion thrives on knowing that they are loved and appreciated.


ISFP doesn’t care for confrontation or competition. Competitive activities should be kept to a minimal to avoid putting your significant other in an uncomfortable spot. Try to pursue projects that require cooperation from both of you or that allow you to work separately in the same space while enjoying each other’s company.